Why you can’t do a half-assed job of self-healing even when you want to

Author: maddy schafer/Monday, June 5, 2017/Categories: journey toward a-bun-dance, life experiences and achievements

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pink throated arum lilies in Wellington's Botanical Gardens last spring

pink throated arum lilies in Wellington's Botanical Gardens last spring


I just bought my first smartphone because I finally have a compelling reason to own one.

It's all coming out of my work with Ellie Frost in her Make It Happen Mastermind.

Soon I'll be creating a group on Facebook, and as part of that I'll do Facebook Live video. We had a practice teaching session late last week and I discovered you can only do Live on a smartphone.

So I asked my techie friends for advice, went to Trademe (e-Bay in New Zealand), poked around a bit, found a well-reviewed second hand phone with the features I needed for a fair price, and bought it.


Kickass camera and video (more megapixels than my beloved Canon 40D) coming soon. It's even waterproofed so I can use it in the rain. I suspect I will.

Once it's set up I just have to learn how it works. I'm sure my 10 year old neighbour can give me a crash course. Haha!

I'm looking forward to this new medium, the immediacy, the unvarnished and unedited authenticity.

I note how easily I made the decision to make this routine but rather important change.

How easily I found something suitable.

How neutral it felt to spend the money, where once I would have felt very brave facing fear that here I am spending money I've not earned yet, and I've got to pay to use it too (aaagh, what's the least I can possibly spend). Neutral.

I've earned my stripes over the last three and a half years and now I am beginning to enjoy the reward.

Whatever you want to have, whatever you want to be, you have to choose to become it within before it will ever appear without.

You declare yourself to yourself. There's nobody else to hear, nobody else listening. You're all of everything that is.

So every part of you which doesn't align with your declaration queues up in a line. So it can ask "What about me? What you gonna do about me? Can't shut me up, can't kill me, how you gonna help me shift from where I am to where we all need to go?"

Then you're brave and persistent and you face yourself, over and over.

You find ways to bring all of yourself forward. A facet, even a shard at a time.

Nobody gets left behind, it's not possible to run away from yourself or have half of you moving forward and half stuck in quagmire.

That's the work of self-healing, the work that brings your whole crew with you.

So you realise it's no longer 'little ol' you' on the path.


It's a host of self and experience and memory and intuition and knowing and synchronicity and it's utterly unstoppable.

This is my passion, this is what I came here to do and be and teach.

Watch this space.


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