twilight at York Bay looking across Wellington harbour
It's been six months between posts and a story far too long to tell except in summary.
I dug deeper and deeper into my rotten foundations. The drivers for my continued financial frustration.
My body manifested a layered puzzle of not-really-sick-and-not-really-well-ness and I worked with that.
My manifestation. Nothing and nobody else doing this to me. Answers came eventually.
I was only sure about what I DIDN'T want to do, had no idea how I could build a sustainable income stream around what I DID want to do.
Absolute clarity that everything I had tried and knew to date was irrelevant and didn't work.
I let go of most of myself, falling into the void of not-knowing anything. Staying there. Resting. Deconstructing. Unbecoming.
So much that who I am now bears only an external resemblance to who I was before.
If you continue to ask a question, the universe must answer.
My dear friend Ellie Frost started a Make It Happen Mastermind group. It's for people like me who KNOW they have something to offer but don't know how to monetise it.
I broke all my fearful precedents and subscribed. It's sustainable, but still an increase on my outgoings ... without any increase yet in my income. No fear. I've shifted so far in my relationship with money.
Almost immediately the Mastermind allowed me to connect with the reason I even came here in the first place. My WHY. I had no idea it hurt so much not to know.
OMG what a HUGE INSTANT return on investment.
Now I know why I'm here and the wheel-spinning is over.
Traction. With ease. Flow. Alignment.
Ellie is teaching me how to build a flow-based business. I wanted to talk about that, so I wrote what follows to post in Facebook.
And then I realised I'd found my voice again.
And had something to share with you.
Here it is.
Something big changed: if I see the sun come out on a grey day and I can stop for 10 minutes to go get some, I do. If there's something I want to do for myself I no longer wait until the end of my 'working' day to do it. I just turn off the timer and do what I want to do. Then carry on.
The whole thing of "eat your veges before your dessert" is gone ... (never mind I now infinitely prefer veges to most desserts) ... there's no putting myself or my pleasure off any more. As a result things flow easily because I'm not pushing to get X done so I can get to Y, and I'm more productive anyway. Good changes.
THIS is how I want to do business.
I checked out the facebook page of another business coach because a friend has just started working with them and the first thing I saw was a post which said "Entrepreneurs are the crazy people who work 100 hours a week so they don't have to work 40 hours for somebody else".
And I thought "I understand the sentiment, but yeah ... nah".
Not for me. Not any more. That's not my way.
It never was, I just didn't know there was an alternative.
Now I do and I'm in flow to #makeithappen.