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What it’s like to feel myself BECOMING abundance inside

and what crowded iris, gallstones and a grumpy knee tendon have in common

Author: maddy schafer/Monday, June 12, 2017/Categories: journey toward a-bun-dance

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our neighbour's cat Chino, mid-yawn and on the move

our neighbour's cat Chino, mid-yawn and on the move

 

I know I've moved far and fast, because everything is different.

Clearing the clutter of the beautiful and non-productive

I've long known my garden is an accurate representation of my inner world. The last year saw the removal of major structural elements which had been there for decades (you can see what it looked like mid-process, and what I still had to do, it's all gone now and new things are taking shape).

For years now my front garden iris bed has been so crowded that the plants mostly stopped flowering. A shame because they're so beautiful. I needed to do a huge cull, but didn't want to just throw them all out.

So last week I signed myself up to Neighbourly (a local social media network) and put up a post saying 'Get all the Japanese iris you want for Koha'. (Koha is a New Zealand Māori custom which can be translated as gift, present, offering, donation or contribution.)

By the end of last weekend all the excess plants had found new homes, I'd had some happy interactions, and somehow I'd made around $130 without asking for a cent. People just put stuff in the Koha jar.

It was so easy.

Losing gall-stones, gaining freedom of movement

I also did a gall-bladder flush the previous Friday night. Back in February it felt like I had a rock in my liver, so I did a flush then and got rid of a whole bladder-full of stones.

It was rugged, but worth doing. I do best on a high fat, moderate protein, low carb and lots of veges diet, and it's an understatement to say that life without a gall bladder would be bad.

This was a followup flush. Still hard work but easier because I tweaked the formula, and am in much better balance.

 

the Japanese Anemone - exquisite simplicity

the Japanese Anemone - exquisite simplicity

 

At the same time I've been working around a slightly inflamed tendon on my left knee which has been that way for a while.

Relatively recently I learned that if a tendon is a problem you need to look to the muscle it serves. And you also need to look at other muscles which might be so tight as to put pressure on the muscle which is showing stress.

So while the problem seemed to be on the front of my leg, in fact it was the tight hamstring in behind which was causing the trouble.

A bright light in the dark

While awake at night, because I tend to wake at least once and don't always go straight back to sleep, I was mulling over these two apparently disparate issues, feeling into them, and wondering if they might somehow be connected.

My hamstring was grumbling. It felt angry, resistant. I've long felt this problem in my left leg 'didn't want to stand for it', and 'didn't want to move forward' and I've kept on connecting with those aspects of myself to help them find peace.

 

autumn light and the changing colours of Ginko Biloba leaves

autumn light and the changing colours of Ginko Biloba leaves

 

At the same time I was struggling with an emotional response to somebody I love putting on a bit of fat. Not just because I find the visual effect unappealing, it's more than that. At a cellular level weight gain signals an imbalance which means something's not working right in the mitochondria (the tiny organelles inside each cell which provide the energy we need to live) and that tends to have important consequences. Eventually. But I knew I was making much more of it that I should have done, and that was the clue. It was my stuff.

So I was feeling into the strength of that and there was a lot of feeling around it. Fear mostly.

Lightbulb.

I have (and have long had) a problem with fat, fatness, and excess.

Geez does that sound like a problem with abundance?

So I won't stand for fat, won't stand for excess, won't move forward to fatness.

Interesting. I can get my teeth into that and make change.

In the last few days I've done a lot of work with the tight hamstring and other muscles which have been stressing the tendon, and just today, I got a result.

Just today I did a particular movement and experienced no resistance for the first time in, oh, let's say, at least 18 months.

I've finally made progress breaking down the old stuckness in my body and it seems I'm breaking down the stuckness in myself as well.

To quote my beloved's 'aha!' of just yesterday, when he realised he'd always thought of abundance as being in the future:

Abundance is NOW!

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